he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
