i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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