Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize