yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Someone came in the potted fern
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize