Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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