She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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