Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A+ Viking dick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
