it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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