is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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