Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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