I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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