At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
