Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize