We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
