i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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