Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
