You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
