Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
