I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wear drunk well.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
