i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
