I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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