i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
