Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
