I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
