butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
