just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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