Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
