Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All the doctor said was why
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize