tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
