i just google imaged poop.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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