Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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