whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
