when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
