i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
