I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize