Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
