Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize