I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think i have two assholes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
