it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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