well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
