You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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