the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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