Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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