found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
