Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
