some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
