Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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