Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
