Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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