it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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