Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
did i just pee glitter
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
