please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
