that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
