ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
