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I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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