That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize