Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
