the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
