She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The best revenge is premature balding
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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